We have been in the process of installing a nitrogen-removing component to our current septic tank as part of the Maryland Bay Restoration Fund Grant Program. By “in the process” I mean playing phone tag with the contractor. While reading about septic tanks I realized there’s a lot more to them than just a tank in the ground that collects gross stuff, especially if you have a fancy nitrogen reducing system like the one we want to install. For example, you shouldn’t dispose of paper that isn’t TP down your drain. Or egg shells. Or large quantities of hair (define large quantities? I have cats and long hair!). But most importantly you can’t flush strong cleaning products with chlorine, phosphates, bleach, etc. All of the strong chemicals in the cleaning products we typically use disrupt the natural process that takes place in your septic tank and not only cause a malfunction, but may end up in the groundwater we drink! Or the bay! Yikes!

I’ve never been very big on strong cleaners. Bleach has always given me a headache and one time when doing a thorough clean of an apartment we were moving out of, I almost passed out after using a deadly combo of products in the small, windowless bathroom. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been the same since (it explains my terrible math and measuring skills).

My most recent attempt to do math.

I’m a big fan of the more frequent and less intense cleanups. I try to just wipe surfaces often with water and a little bit of dish-washing soap to keep them clean and don’t worry too much about bacteria, since they are everywhere anyways and a little bit is good for your immune system. Usually, if you scrub most surfaces long enough they end up nice and clean. For example, our sink is spotless after a good scrub and regular dish-washing soap. I also use dish-washing soap diluted in a bucket of water to mop our floors, and it works well. That way, I don’t worry about what the chemicals do to our kitties (who are closer to the floor after all) and feel alright when it’s time to wash it down the drain because it’s safe for the septic tank and it’s not terrible for the environment. We do wash our dishes with it after all!

Maybe George was also exposed to too much bleach in his life.

But what about more through cleans? I’m finding that household consumption products work pretty well in most cases. For example, blood on my white gi? Used plain toothpaste and an old toothbrush and it came right off! Toilet bowls? Baking soda and a little bit of white vinegar for extra umph.

The Chobani container is where I mix my cleaners. I’ve tried using yogurt to clean, and it’s not worth it because of how expensive it is.

I recently bought some neat outdoor chairs from the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store and one was especially dirty and stained. Used a combo of baking soda and toothpaste and it worked wonders! Had to scrub a bit, but they cleaned up really well and I had no fear of the cleaners killing my plants nearby or running into the stream by our house.

Pretend this is a “Before” photo and the yellow chair has black spots…

After: awesome finds for $5 each!

I’m sure there are situations in which you may need stronger cleaners, but for general cleaning purposes baking soda, white vinegar, dish-washing soap and toothpaste work wonders. Especially toothpaste! (I don’t know whether to be happy it works so well, or scared that I use it to clean my teeth twice a day…). As much as possible, I’d like to keep from flushing anything in our water that we wouldn’t want to drink later on, since some of it will ultimately make its way back to you (or someone you know).

And if you ever need a super strong acidic cleaner to clean rust off nails, don’t worry! I’ll supply you with some of our cans of Coke, which seem to have been made for that purpose!