If I’m very busy and haven’t done the dishes, or have made a frozen dinner for pizza, or have bought a card for someone instead of making it, or haven’t swept, I feel bad. I feel like I’m failing at a duty I take very seriously.

When you work full time, especially with elementary children, you are very tired when you get home. You don’t have much energy. I may have some energy left, but I tend to use it up on the various physical activities I do: dancing, running, and martial arts. So after a looooong day who wants do to dishes, especially after cooking a full meal? When you could read, hang out with the husband, catch up with a show, or simply relax. But the dishes are always piling up, and they tend to be the most obvious and most annoying sign that we have fallen behind on domestic duties.

I have discovered that if I do the dishes as I cook, the whole process is less painful. If there’s only a few dishes left in the sink as I’m serving the meal, it does not seem as daunting to do them after I’ve finished eating. Wash a bowl here, throw a plate in the dishwasher there, stir the pot and check the muffins. Kitchen multitasking can be great as long as you set your timer, and make sure you stick to washing as many dishes as you can manage in the time it takes for the water to boil or the pizza to bake.

As my husband says, being domestic is not necessarily about being clean or keeping appearances. It can also be about keeping a harmonious home environment. Being domestic can mean making sure the insides match the outsides. Making sure that your mind is not a chaotic heap of laundry and dishes and take-out, but instead an organized and usable space with clean surfaces and a balanced diet. Balance can be reached, even when working full time! You just have to find the method that works for you. And also give yourself a break once in a while!